First Confession

I've never told ANYBODY about this so i guess i should start from the begining. Ever since I was a little kid I've been fascinated by disability of any kind. I've been an onlooker on the devotee/pretender/wanabe websites for as long as I've has internet access.
I've known of my fascination for as long as i can remember. I can't speak for other DPWs but for me it has always been about the hardware, prosthetic legs, hooks, leg braces, crutches, sporty wheelchairs. I can't quite remember what was first but there were several times in my young life when I saw and desired to know the feeling of disability.
I have an uncle who is an above the knee amputee. I have always seen him wearing a prosthetic leg under his jeans except for one time when i was about 5 years old. My parents were having a BBQ/pool party because some family was visiting from out of town. In the pool early that afternoon my father told me that my uncle was missing a leg and not to be surprised by his prosthesis/lack of limb if he were to go swimming. I was instantly intrigued at the prospect of a missing limb. Hours later i see my uncle hoble out tho the pool holding onto the strap for his leg to keep ot attached. I watch as he sheds the limb, hops and dives into the pool. I watch intently and unconsciously as he swims for a while and then emerges from the pool and hops back the where he has left his leg. I watch as he dries his stump thoroughly and replaces his prosthesis. Several months later I tried pretending for the first time. Lying in bed I slipped off my shorts, tucked my right leg up and slid my shorts back over my own 'stump' for the first time.
I can't remember if it was before or after the uncle experience but i distinctly recall a shopping trip to with my mother where we saw a boy about my age using forearm crutches and long leg braces. I remember telling my mother that I wanted to be like that boy. She quickly dismissed my statement.
These are my first two memories involving disability. Since then i can remeber being obesessed with wondering what it would be like to be disabled in some way.
Ever dream of what you would wish for if you found a Genie's lamp? I used to lay awake dreaming that i'd be able to find out what it feels like to be amputated in many different ways or to be paralyzed.
I'm now 29 years old. When i got my first apartment of my own about 8 months ago, I ordered a cheesy wheelchair from e-bay. I often pretend as both a para and DAK amputee. I recently purchased my first pair of leg braces (AFO) and some forearm crutches.
I am in a hetero relationship with a woman who knows nothing of my pretending/devoteeism but I enjoy pretending whenever feasable. Right now I'm wearing my AFOs with both my crutches and chair nearby and I wish I could share this with my partner, maybe someday I will trust her enough to bear my dirty little secret.
If you read this and feel the same way at all please contact me. I long to make a friend sharing these unique interests.